Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
