so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
