If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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