I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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