she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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