I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
