I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
