he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize