There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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