JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just high enough for therapy.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
