we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
