I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
