Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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