FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
