i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize