You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
