Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
