I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
