Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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