He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sorry about my life...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
