did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
