Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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