I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
