Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
