I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
