he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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