Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His hands were made for my vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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