Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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