Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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