Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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