you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
