he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
