Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
