im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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