Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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