I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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