You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
