I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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