WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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