Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
false alarm, still single
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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