I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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