if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
