Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
