So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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