He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
