wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
soo... how was my night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
