Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
