I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
