Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
