Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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