I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
