CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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