shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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