It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
