ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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