my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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