"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
