Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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