i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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