Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
