im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
FUCK WHALES
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