I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
