what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
