She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
